This article is one of our multi-part series Behind The Wheel – The Complete Guide To Teen Driving. Other articles include (those not linked are in production and coming soon):
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It is definitely an interesting time. Your teen is chomping at the bit and probably counting down the days until they are able to learn how to drive. And while you’re probably responding with slightly forced smiles and mild encouragement, on the inside, you’re nervous, possibly dreading it, and maybe even completely terrified thinking about your child behind the wheel.
Before we go on, and in case there are readers whose kids aren’t quite to the age of first-time drivers yet and are about to save this for later, let me pass along the most important advice that it is never too early to hear.
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. Always. Don’t be the angry driver honking and yelling at other cars. Don’t speed like a maniac to get to a doctor’s appointment on time. Don’t look at your phone while you’re driving, even at a stoplight. Because like everything else, our kids are always learning from us and will emulate our behavior. The phone and the doctor can wait. And there will always be poor drivers on the road, it is not our job to fix them. Deep breaths.
This isn’t easy, and I haven’t been perfect that’s for sure, but now that I’ve been through 2 first time drivers at home, I wish I could go back and adjust some of those moments and set only good driving examples.
While your teen counts down those days, there are things that you can do together to get ready for this next chapter.
Every state has its own laws and requirements for when your teen can legally drive. Most states have adopted a 3-stage graduated process for new drivers.
Typically these stages are:
And each state has its own learner’s permit requirements for:
The Dorm Guide will be compiling a link for each state in the near future, but in the meantime, simply use Google to find the information on your state’s Department of Motor Vehicles website. Be sure you land on the official government website and not one trying to sell you driving lessons or collect personal information or fees. This is a great step to do together so that you’re both learning the requirements and the process together.
This may seem like an easy question, but its worth some thought, and checking into your state’s rules.
Will you teach your child, and you only? Will you and spouse split the responsibility? Will you both go with your teen and tag team on the driving lessons? What will your teen be the most comfortable with as they learn to drive. My guess is that they will have an opinion.
And make sure you check your state’s requirements which do change periodically. Along with most requiring classroom/online driver’s ed training, some may also require a number of hours of professional driving lessons. All will require a specific number of supervised hours of driving, including nighttime driving. Knowing this upfront, go ahead and get out a notebook or a smart phone app now to keep track of supervised driving hours and conditions.
If your state requires professional driving lessons, or if you opt to do them, consider where in the learning process is best to use those lessons/hours for your situation. You could:
Your teen must have his/her learner’s permit before they have their first driving lesson. Please do not go out on the roads, however deserted they may be, without it.
Getting the permit will involve paperwork, proof of identification and likely a written test. Your teen will need help preparing all that is involved.
Where will your teen keep his or her learner’s permit? If your teen is not already a wallet carrier, it may be time to consider a wallet for their permit, cash and an emergency credit card.
One of my sons did not want to deal with a wallet, so he chose a combination phone case/wallet.
These make the phone bulkier than a typical case, but he prefers only keeping up with one thing.
This is the one that we got for him on Amazon – far less expensive than an actual wallet!
Make a quick call to your insurance company to be sure you are covered in the event of any incidents with your teen driving with their learner’s permit.
While you have them on the phone, ask them what you/your child can do to reduce their insurance premium once they become a licensed driver. Driver’s ed and good grades should be at least 2 suggestions they give you.
It may seem a little goofy, but get a New Driver Magnet or New Driver Sticker for the car. Trust me. If you can buy a little patience from your fellow drivers, you and your teen will be the better for it.
I prefer the magnet over the sticker for ease of removal or moving to different cars. Here is a highly rated pack of 3 for less than a fast-food lunch.
Sit down and agree upon the ‘rules’ for your family. For example, when your teen does something that makes you nervous or needs correction, discuss how they want you to respond BEFORE you get in the car. Here is a starter list of topics for pre-agreement (based on my white-knuckled experience) before your first time driving lessons :
If your teen can’t agree to any of these points or others that you set, then you probably need to consider whether or not your teen is ready to drive. One of the key lessons of driving is that you follow the rules, or you lose the privilege.
Is your teenager scared to drive? Overly confident? Somewhere between anxious and excited? In almost anything in life, a written plan will help set expectations, visualize a path and hopefully bring a joint sense of purpose and calm.
The Dorm Guide has done the research looking at various states’ driver’s license requirements and what skills will be tested in the road tests and put together a comprehensive, step-by-step plan for you to teach your teen to drive. This guide includes a detailed article as well as a printable checklist for each step in the process.
If you are already using a shared digital calendar, schedule your sessions on the family calendar so that you are consistently making time for driving lessons throughout the process. If you haven’t set up a digital calendar for your family yet, please see PSA’s step by step guide to setup a Google or Apple shared calendar. It is really quick and free and will get everyone on the same page.
You probably know this, but an empty parking lot is one of the best places to learn how to drive. How do you find an empty parking lot? Here are some ideas:
You should definitely do your first several driving lessons in the daylight on a nice day. Many states do have a requirement about a minimum number of hours of nighttime driving practice, but save that for later. Definitely plan to go out during daylight and clear skies to get started with your first time driving.
After you have completed the steps above including your teen obtaining their learner’s permit, it is time to get your teen behind the wheel.
Please follow our step-by-step parent guide to teaching teens to drive. Take the guesswork out of your driving lessons and follow a method to ensure your teen learns all of the driving skills necessary to not only pass their driver’s test but to also be a safe and well-informed driver.
This article is one of our multi-part series Behind The Wheel – The Complete Guide To Teen Driving. Other articles include (those not linked are in production and coming soon):
To be notified when new articles drop, please subscribe to receive our emails or follow our Facebook page.
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Giangi Townsend says:
As a mom, parent it is so scary to have your baby driving, Love all your suggestions and I would add if I may if the parents are divorced have them both check which one has a better driving record and put the teenager on that policy, it can save you thousands of dollars.
Also, take your insurance provider driving test, how silly that may sounds, 10% OFF is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for a great post with lots of great suggestions for parents.
Binet says:
these are great tips! These tips are great for really anyone who is first starting out driving.
Nadia Böckmann says:
Amazing Tips and I love the Checklists, this will come in super handy in the future.